I don't normally post here - but today feel the need. I started blogging a year ago, so that I could write my thoughts down and perhaps grow thru them. Often times it is a real help. So here goes on the thoughts that are running thru my mind this morning.
Lately many of these posts are similar. I am not choosing them on purpose. They just come about that way. Sometimes I like to think that God is directing what is chosen, because perhaps someone needs that for today.
For example, today I chose the peony flower above. As I opened the photo, my first thought was wow, those leaves are paper thin. So I added the photo to my iRemember palate, and went out on the internet to find a quote on "paper thin." The first one I read was the Brendan Francis one above, and I felt a connection.
The next step was to do a search (I love Bible Gateway!) on the word fear in the scriptures. Isaiah struck a chord with me and so I put them together.
The result is what you see. I am not sure why fear keeps coming up. If I look deep inside myself, (past the 260 report cards I am procrastinating about ... that are due Monday) I guess there are some things that I am afraid of.
Old One (my 18 year old son) - driving on his own, in a band, seemingly moving further and further away from God.
Tall One (my 17 year old son) - completing his junior year of high school this week, taking drivers ed this summer, dropping out of youth group and separating himself from Godly people, going thru some emotionally rough teen age times right now, defiant, trying to break free, deciding on college and where to go from here.
Young One (my 13 year old son) - told me he is afraid to commit to Christ, because he doesn't want to walk away from Him like his brothers seem to have, very active in sports and always taking physical risks.
And there are many more, now that I stop and think about it. I still ache so deeply inside from leaving a congregation that has been my family for years and years. And there are so many fears I am too embarrassed to write about, but are real and consume me.
As I read thru the quote and scripture above - my single courageous step - needs to be - grabbing hold of God and putting my trust in Him, to count on Him. I know not one second of my worry time - can do anything about my fears. But practicing grabbing ahold of the One who created us all, and loves my children more than I ever could, and gave them free choice to live their lives as they choose, even if it means walking away from Him. He loved them that much. Clinging to Him is what keeps me going.
The song Twila Paris sang a while ago is running thru my mind:
Do I Trust You
Sometimes my little heart can't understand
What's in Your will, What's in Your plan
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why
But I can never forget it for long
Lord what You do, could not be wrong
So I believe You, Even why I must cry
Do I trust You Lord, Does the river flow
Do I trust You Lord, Does the north wind blow
You can see my heart, You can read my mind
And you've got to know, That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith, In the One I love
Do I trust You, Lord
Probably all of my rambling, has not been an encouragement to you today. But writing it down has reminded me of Who I am clinging to, and His remarkable strength that I can call on as my own.
Please pray for these folks who are heavy on my heart today as they face huge challenges that could cause great fear in their lives:
Melina's Family (13 year old died of cancer on June 3)
Adrienne and her family (her husband with terminal cancer)
Dorothy's son Joe (severely burned)
I am sure there as many, many more -