Monday, September 9
Monday ~ September 9, 2013
Even when the flowers above - lost their petals and purple beauty - I found they have such a striking presence and still add so much value to the landscape.
Erma Bombeck's - quote made me think about the gifts and abilities that God gives us.
At one point in my life - I defined myself as a singer. It was who I was and the purpose of my life. Oh how young and shallow I was.
Then I contracted whooping cough - and between that and my asthma - I lost my voice for about 6 months. I couldn't sing or talk - let alone breath - without horrific coughing fits. (It was a good thing this happened while I was still a stay at home mom and not employed as a music teacher). My head voice (singing voice) was gone. My vocal cords were in spasm. I had to go to vocal therapy.
During this time I learned that I couldn't define myself as a singer anymore. I didn't know who I was. But during my months of silence I learned. I was a mom, a wife, a sister and a child of
God. I learned that I had many talents: singing, playing the piano, writing music, photography, creative writing, and gardening to name just a few.
Eventually - I found out that one of my asthma medications was causing my vocal cord paralysis, and so when I stopped taking it and switched to a different medication as well as continued with vocal therapy, my voice came back.
I guess I have taken a step back from what I learned that year. Since being layed off from my job as a vocal music teacher in June of this year, I have been defining myself again by what I do - and yet - there are so many things I am able to do. I think because I spent so much of my time working towards my degrees to be a teacher, the Bachelors Degree - the Masters Degree - the 14 years experience - that - being a music teacher is what I should be doing.
But - maybe not. I have had a hard time with the 'rejection' that comes with all of the interviews - when the schools don't see me as the person they want in the classroom. And so perhaps it is time for me to take a leap of faith and try something new.
Not quite sure what that will be yet. But I am thankful for the time to think about it and perhaps investigate opportunities. There are so many uncertainties.
But one thing I know for sure - I don't want to stand before God with my basket still full of talents, gifts and abilities that I haven't even tried or shared. I am looking forward to the days ahead - being able to experiment and try new things.