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Monday, September 9

Monday ~ September 9, 2013

Even when the flowers above -  lost their petals and purple beauty - I found they have such a striking presence and still add so much value to the landscape.

Erma Bombeck's - quote made me think about the gifts and abilities that God gives us.

At one point in my life - I defined myself as a singer.  It was who I was and the purpose of my life. Oh how young and shallow I was.

Then I contracted whooping cough - and between that and my asthma - I lost my voice for about 6 months. I couldn't sing or talk - let alone breath - without horrific coughing fits. (It was a good thing this happened while I was still a stay at home mom and not employed as a music teacher).  My head voice (singing voice) was gone. My vocal cords were in spasm. I had to go to vocal therapy.

During this time I learned that I couldn't define myself as a singer anymore. I didn't know who I was.  But during my months of silence I learned.   I was a mom, a wife, a sister and a child of
God.  I learned that I had many talents: singing, playing the piano, writing music, photography, creative writing, and gardening to name just a few. 

Eventually - I found out that one of my asthma medications was causing my vocal cord paralysis, and so when I stopped taking it and switched to a different medication as well as continued with vocal therapy, my voice came back.

I guess I have taken a step back from what I learned that year.  Since being layed off from my job as a vocal music teacher in June of this year, I have been defining myself again by what I do - and yet - there are so many things I am able to do.  I think because I spent so much of my time working towards my degrees to be a teacher,  the Bachelors Degree - the Masters Degree - the 14 years experience - that - being a music teacher is what I should be doing.

But - maybe not.  I have had a hard time with the 'rejection' that comes with all of the interviews - when the schools don't see me as the person they want in the classroom. And so perhaps it is time for me to take a leap of faith and try something new.

Not quite sure what that will be yet.  But I am thankful for the time to think about it and perhaps  investigate opportunities. There are so many uncertainties.

But one thing I know for sure - I don't want to stand before God with my basket still full of talents, gifts and abilities that I haven't even tried or shared. I am looking forward to the days ahead - being able to experiment and try new things.


Karin said...

Great to know that Our Shepherd is your guide and will lead you every step of the way! Deep thoughts - thanks for sharing!

Janice K said...

Erma Bombeck's quote really makes you stop and think. And your message gave me a greater understanding of where you are at right now. I believe as we go through life, we will redefine ourselves many times, but as long as we remain "His Child", we are always in the process of becoming who He wants us to be. I have a feeling you have so much to look forward to, because He certainly isn't finished with you yet.

Wanda said...

The labels that we have attached ourselves can be quite restricting but they only tell a small smart of what do. They can never really tell the full story of who we are.