We interrupt these dismal blurry winter days for
a breath of clarity and a breath of sunshine!
As I was going thru my library of photo's this morning, I was getting more and more frustrated. Of late, I have been floored by some of my blog friends clear and perfectly lit bird photographs. I know I could blame it on the fact that I couldn't buy my new camera (someone needed new tires for his car - so my fund has been depleted! 2 years of saving ... now driving on the roads of Western NY), or I could blame it on the weather, you know - anything but me ...
As I looked at the shots I have taken as recently as this past Saturday morning
1. Everything is dark (our sun is hiding behind the clouds)
2. Everything is blurred (it was snowing that morning) and
3. Everything is cold (we had a delay in the start to our day on Monday due to minus 8 degree temps, windchills at minus 19) as our buses would not start. (AND I AM SO THANKFUL I DO NOT LIVE IN MINNESOTA OR WISCONSIN! I COULD NEVER LIVE IN THOSE TEMPERATURES!)
And so my favorite flower brought a bit of a smile to my face - but I must admit ... not to my heart. God is working on me this morning. My conscience is hurting. I am feeling terribly guilty.
One of my biggest faults (I have many) is - I cannot keep my mouth shut.
I always have to say what is on my mind, I always have to correct everyone else for the errors that they make - never looking at myself for being the over judgmental freak that I am.
So as I was looking for a sunny and clear quote to go with my sunny and clear photo this morning - I first searched for "breath of fresh air." One of the first quotes I read, was listed as author unknown. It said "It is far more powerful to live your truth than to preach it." OUCH! That one hit me.
Next up ... scripture search for the word Truth ... I read John 3:21-22 and felt another slap.
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. (John 3:20-21)
Yes, it all came together in my mind. I am too busy pointing out everyone else's tiny specks in their eyes - while I have a huge log in my own. That is sin, that is evil. And what is worse is that I usually point out everyone else's specks ... behind their back to others. Not even brave enough for a confrontation. How can I be so awful?
Oh how I long to live in the sunshine! To have all my deeds in plain view, with nary a chance of hurting or maligning someone else. But to be known as one who builds up and encourages others. I thought that was what I was trying to do thru this site. Encouraging words, and photos and scriptures . . . and this morning, that is where the quote hurt me:
"It is far more powerful to live your truth than to preach it."
I don't want to be a person who tells everyone what to do. I want my life to be lived purposefully for God, to be an example that others can see Him in me and never doubt WHO I belong to.
Another struggle. But, the fact that I feel God pointing it out to me this morning, allowing me to feel so guilty is one way I know He hasn't given up on me. I am 48 years old and He is still working on me. Oh the joy's of being human and imperfect (sarcasm).
But one day ... one day ... we will be perfect and in His presence ... (thankfully the blood of Christ will cover our multitude of sins) and the guilt and anguish over our imperfections will be gone.
But today, I will strive to find the good, the positive in those around me, and I will tell them. I will look for the efforts and strides they are making towards the goal of being Christlike, and I will tell them.
I hope I can be encouraging to someone.
I hope I can build someone up.
I hope I can give someone hope.
I hope ... I can be like Jesus today.